Monday, September 19, 2011

The Tale of Young Bluebart.

A little side-story to keep you all entertained on a Monday.

Deep beneath the waves there lies a nasty pirate with rotted skin and a patch over one of his eyes. To think that this creature ever had a wife would be unimaginable but he did. Bluebart had one child, a girl, well, if you could call her that. This child’s name was Kathyui of the Ocean. Her mother was part troll so this girl was not very beautiful and her manners lacked a little but overall she was a very kind and gentle girl. One day, she was walking along the bottom of the ocean when she spotted a young wizard about her age swimming to Calypso’s Lair. She hid behind some sea grass to observe this strange creature she hasn’t seen before.  She watched as this wizard called his friends and they battled the queen of the ocean and come out victorious. She gave a little gasp when he smiled and she felt her heart flutter, but when he turned to see where the noise came from she scurried away back to her cave thinking that her looks would scare the handsome wizard away. When she heard the wizard swimming by she followed always out of sight but able to track the young wizard all the way back to Wizard City. She made sure not be seen by anyone as she was surrounded by beautiful humans like that young wizard. She wandered about Wizard City searching for the wizard that almost spotted her. She finally spotted him in a place called “Firecat Alley.” She climbed onto one of the roofs to watch him quest along with his friends when she slipped and fell.
                “What is that?” One of his friends said.
“Is that a troll?” The other said. The guy in the middle, whom she has been following, said nothing he just stared.

                “NO! Don’t look at me! I’m hideous!” She cried and ran for her life. She hid in an alley behind some garbage and hugged her knees. She heard some rustling some few feet away and peeked through a little crack of the garbage cans. She saw two little fire elves having a conversation.

                “Yeah, that Bastilla is somethin’ else!” One of the elves said, “I asked her for some o’dat wizard clothes and she granted my wish. She knows some magicky spells that’ll do anythin’ you ask!”

Kathyui tuned everything else except for the location of such miracle worker. She ran for the tower that was just a jog away from where she was. She looked up at the tower and gulped then knocked on it.

                “Come in my child,” a voice said as the door opened.  Kathyui stepped inside and the door slammed behind her. She whipped her head to see behind her and looked back to the front. As soon as the door closed the torches were lit up to reveal a banshee sitting on her desk and eating what looked like bats.

“A-are you B-Bastilla Gravewynd?” Kathyui choked out. The banshee in question chuckled and answered “Yes, yes, I am. Now, who are you and what do you need?”

“U-um, my name is Kathyui, a-and my father is Bluebart.” She said while finding the floor more interesting to look at, “and, I was wondering if you could make me beautiful so I can talk to this wizard guy a met.”

“Oh, how interesting.” Kathyui gave a weak smile.

“I want him to notice me and like me…”

“Hmm… The only way to get what you want, is to become human yourself.” Kathyui gasped.

“Can you do that?” Bastilla chucked and snapped her fingers and some instruments came alive.

“My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for. To help unfortunate folk, like yourself. 
Poor souls with no one else to turn to.” With that last sentence the instruments started playing.

“I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
True? Yes.
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And dear lady, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)

Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, "Spells, Bastilla, please!"
And I help them!
Yes I do

Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
Yes I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls!
Have we got a deal?Bastilla said.

“But, if I become human I can never be with my father and mother again…” Kathyui muttered.

“But you'll have your man, heh heh. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Heh heh. Oh, and there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment.

“But I don’t have any-“

“I’m not asking for much, just a token really a trifle,” Bastilla assured “What I want from you is… your kindness.”

“My kindness? What would you want with that? If I don’t have kindness how will I get along with him? I might not even be able to talk with him-” Kathyui  argued.

You'll have your looks, your pretty face.
And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha!

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yet on land it's much prefered for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle babble for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man

Come on you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your kindness!
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad but true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
You've got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and drink the bowl.
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul

Beluga sevruga,
Come winds of the Celestian Sea
Larengix glaucitis
Et max laryngitis
Benevolentia to me!” Bastilla yelled and there appeared a bowl with a bottle of Lotus wings and a jar that said ‘Angel Dust’ then another that said ‘Kane of Ice’ when Bastilla poured all of the things in the bowl and it exploded in a cloud of smoke. “Now drink.”

Kathyui hesitated a little before taking the bowl drank the potion. Her green chapped and ugly skins was morphed into a nice peach color and her nappy brown hair flowed down to beautiful brown locks that turned blue in the moon light. Her green eyes turned white  like the white snow. Bastilla grabbed a small flask and held it up to Kathyui and from there a stream of gold mist from Kathyui went inside it.

“It was a pleasure doing business with you Kathyui.” Bastilla cackled and sent Kathyui to the commons. She landed on a novice wizard with a thud.

“Oh,, I’m sorry… wow you’re beautiful…” The novice gawked.

“Tsk, noob.” Kathyui went wide-eyed and covered her mouth. Why did I say that.

I was only trying to be nice, geez!” He yelled.

“Oh shut it and go back to your mom.” She said through her hand. Darn it! She ran until she couldn’t run no more and ended up somewhere with a sign that said, ‘The Arena.’

The End.

'Poor Unfortunate Souls' - Little Mermaid.

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